Bullshit Enrollment Procedures

Switching employers means tons of paperwork.

New benefits means new enrollments.

Highlights of the enrollment process:

  • To use their very small gym–like one treadmill and Foosball table–you must first indicate you will follow the rules. And there are many specific rules: Everyone must wear deodorant. No public displays of affection. No immodest clothing. Ladies…This means no exposing the midriff.
  • For payroll, you must have a copy of your official social security card. Luckily I have mine. No card? No payroll. I have never given an employee my card before.
  • You sign a form saying you received the employee handbook, which HR says is worthless. Sign the form, toss the handbook.
  • Some reason for direct deposit, you have to give a non-toll free number for the bank. "No 800 numbers". Also, a physical address of a branch. "No PO Box numbers." And a voided check. Deposit slips are not allowed.
  • For emergency purposes, you have to give a physical address of your emergency contact. Fair enough, though if it was a true emergency a physical address might not be too useful. You have to provide two contacts. Second one was my Dad, who's in Iowa at the moment.

Having done a stack of bullshit enrollment forms about 4-5 months ago, I don't really mind it too much. It's over in a few hours, usually.

Worse are often the corporate computing policies or software you must use. For example, Microsoft Exchange or being forced to use IE for the Intranet, or the anti-virus software, or Cisco's crappy VPN client.

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About eliasross

Blogging before the word "blog" was invented.
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