In the past few years, the topic of children has come up, but there was never certainty about it. For us, it’s been all about career, going overseas, and pursuing our own hobbies, like cycling, movies, kayaking, time with friends, etc. Hitomi saw having children as a burden. More work than it was worth. Interference with everything. I also felt a bit reluctant for the same reasons. Further, thinking back to our own childhoods, our family relationships were a bit of a bummer. Did we need a child to be happy? We didn’t want to be like other foolish parents.
Hitomi eventually entered her mid-30s, when it becomes a higher risk to conceive and deliver a healthy baby. We had to think seriously. My mother (and sisters) have been asking all along and it seemed to be more about their interests than our own. And we had to consider that one last trip, one last ski season, so on and so forth.
After around our Norway trip, end of summer 2010, Hitomi stopped her birth control medicine. She already been measuring her temperature using a special thermometer and knew when to best conceive. And so it was more or less a matter of picking the right month. And then my part was over once the pregnancy test came back positive.
I tried to keep it quite secret for a number of reasons. Hitomi wanted to wait until all her tests came back fine and the baby was considered viable. (Still, my mother found out before I had wanted to, two months later.) And even post three months, Hitomi didn’t really want me announcing it. Hitomi never wanted to bring it up and in fact did not even want a baby shower–originally.
Five or so months in, there’s been a couple of interesting things that have come up. It’s a boy. And it’s quite strange to see her big belly. But it’s also strange for me congratulated about it. I do appreciate the sentiment, but it’s largely Hitomi’s at the moment. I do know my part will come after and look forward to it.
We are working on a name. The names I like are Japanese, and for better or worse unisex. Unisex because I kind of did want a girl. But they also are more elegant. If you have one to suggest please let me know.